1,000,000 little issues: generally a Dane is only a Dane


Maggie got her flatbread buttered in A Million Little Things last week, but it’s an entirely different pastry at the center of the hour this week.

And yes, the rest of the episode has tons of PTSD, depression, and hidden drug use, but let’s just start with the light-hearted, sexy stuff, OK?

Read on for the highlights of “The Talk”.

JAMIE IS HOLDING A STIFF … UPPER LIP | After a short phone call in which Maggie Regina tells everything about her very pleasant evening with “B +” sex with her roommate Jamie, she comes out of her bedroom to see that he left her coffee and a Dane on the kitchen table . This is startling, since Mags has just sworn to Gina that she only wants one nookie with no strings abroad. (Side note: Gina’s retort – “You didn’t fail a B +. You teach it.” – is perfect.)

Later that night, Maggie tries to let Jamie down when he surprises her: he bought the Danish and the coffee for himself, he says, and when he saw that she assumed he had done it for her, he started he freaked out that she wanted more than he was ready to give. I’m not sure I’ll buy this, but he’s using his failed first marriage as evidence that he doesn’t want to put up with anyone right now, and Maggie relaxes a bit.

BIRDS AND BEES TIME | While Eddie secretly swaps his prescription pain relievers for aspirin (never a good sign), Katherine walks into the kitchen wondering if he has anything to say to her. Eddie freezes … but she talks about the results of a “big boobs” search on her iPad. When Eddie promises he wasn’t to blame, a look back at history shows that Theo has become aware of the feminine form.

So you put your son down and give him the interview. But the whole uncomfortable exchange raises even more questions for her than for him, since Eddie and Katherine haven’t had sex since his accident. Eventually, he confides in her that he doesn’t think she could possibly want him anymore, considering how different he and his body are now.

“My body is broken and I don’t know how to use it, and I’m probably a little embarrassed to find out with you,” he says in tears. But she counters that they learned to be intimate again after his infidelity, and they will do it again. (Side note: is this the saddest pep talk ever or what? Somehow Grace Park makes it sound loving and gentle.) Anyway, it seems to work because when Katherine kisses Eddie, he kisses her back.

SHANICE’S CONFESSION | Shanice spends a day shadowing Regina so she can play her in Rome’s film. But when they start talking about the Howards relationship, Gina gets a little too open about Rome’s depression and her worries about him. Shanice leaves abruptly and asks Rome to meet. Shaken as he watches the casting process for the actor who plays Jon, he shows up thinking she’s scared and will pull out of the film.

But the truth is actually the opposite: it reveals that because she went away for a gajillion dollar movie in the recent past, she was hospitalized for depression. “You might want me to play Regina, but in real life I’m Rome,” she says. And when he wonders if he should even make a movie that somehow benefits from his friend’s suicide, she counters that he has to do this so that people feel less alone. “That has to be said”, she says, “especially for us”

FAKE FATHER KNOWS BEST | Gary stands up for Delilah (while in France) and accompanies Sophie to her audition for a tough music program that could help her gain access to the Massachusetts Music Institute, her new dream school. She’s doing well, but the program’s director, Peter (played by Andrew Leeds of Bones Alaun / Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist) tells her that she lacks passion and that she’s generally kind of a sucker for her.

Gary storms on stage afterwards and admonishes Peter not to pass Sophie on, but for his cold manner. “You are an adult and there is a nicer way to do what you just did,” he says. Sophie is mad at Gary for interfering, but Darcy assures him it will happen. And after Sophie gave a very passionate street performance outside of the theater where Peter auditioned students, he tells her that there is no place for her in his program – but if she is ready to work hard he becomes her as a private student take up. She is excited and Gary is taken.

ECHOES OF WAR | Darcy has nightmares about her time in Iraq, but when she wakes up screaming, she insists on Gary that she doesn’t want to talk about it. Her PTSD becomes even clearer later in the episode when Danny innocently jumps out from behind a corner and says, “Boo!” Screams and thinks she is Gary. Darcy loses her things, yells at him, and then immediately feels terrible. Even so, she doesn’t want to tell Gary what she’s going through. So he sits down on the stairs in the Dixon’s house and calls Maggie in Oxford in the middle of the night.

Now it’s your turn. What do you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments!

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